Let Freedom Ring

Fourth of July is the worst day of the year, typically, to be on the floor of a veterinary clinic. In the morning things aren't too bad, but it's the equivalent of standing on the shore as a massive wave of crap lurches up. Soon enough, it'll hit.

It's not just another emergency day. It's twice, sometimes three times as busy. And you would not believe the amount of easily-avoidable, completely self-inflicted tragedies that we deal with, all to be called money-grubbing scumbags when the situation is too far gone for us to help. People do dumb things with fireworks.

But at a certain point, the sheer amount of animal suffering and unpleasant client behavior is a bit much. We want to help, but dude! You left your dog in the car while you went on a beer run?

So, to compensate for the horrors that away my colleagues today, I've created this holiday poem to celebrate them. On this Fourth of July, let us salute the valiant efforts of these guardians of animal health. In the face of adversity, they stand firm and deliver their best service for every pointless tragedy.

Long live the veterinarians, the unsung heroes of our Independence Day!

Enjoy,

As bright morning sunbeams break into the sky,
And corn cobs are laid out right next to the pies,
Let's take a moment, with a heartfelt sigh,
To salute the poor schmucks working Fourth of July.

They’ll attend to the dogs, spooked by firework booms,
Who bolt onto the highway, straight into doom,
Getting hit by an ambulance, oh what a twist!
Which was off to help someone who blew off their fist.

More dogs will be barfing, bent down in prayer
Greasy sausages too rich for their pancreas to bear.
Or sneaky pups who didn't spend time as a chewer
Presenting with piercing-through BBQ skewers!

Cats will shiver with fear, hiding under the bed, 
As fireworks thunder all over their heads,
Too much for the nerves and without sedation,
They’ll show up later with bladder inflammation.

Parked car for a beer run, oh! What a mistake!
That $5000 French bulldog is now overbaked!
But hey, at least one thing gives us a smile,
No teeth need extracting in this holiday’s trial.

So here’s to the vets, with patience and care,
Saving our pets from holiday scare.
On this Fourth of July, let’s give them their due,
For they keep our pets safe, and that’s nothing new.